K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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