I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
