wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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