Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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