That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
