My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
