Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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