And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
