so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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