Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
