I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
