what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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