not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
