Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
