if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
