The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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