i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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