D3 body, D1 cock
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
