I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
