We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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