my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
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