come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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