Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
