he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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