just come out here and I will go home with you...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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