I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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