names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
