is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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