people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I will be naked everywhere
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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