Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There's always time for handjobs
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
