How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
BRING THE BAGELS
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
