She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
