In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
