So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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