I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
