I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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