Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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