After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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