Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he thought i was a dude.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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