walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
