god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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