I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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