I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
