I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
