I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
