Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
