Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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