I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
