wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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