Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
